Saying Goodbye to a Serial Killer

Showtime

Today I was in a really crappy mood. It wasn’t my 45-minute commute, or the fact that I left the drive-thru without my coffee… No. It was because last night, I said a tearful goodbye to my most beloved television character, Dexter Morgan.

Last night while millions watched the Emmy’s or Breaking Bad, I savored the last episode of Showtime’s Dexter. The series ended after eight seasons of blood, crime scenes, and close calls. For those who haven’t had the guilty pleasure of watching the show, I’ll break it down into one long complicated sentence:

After witnessing the brutal death of his mother as a toddler, Dexter Morgan has an innate urge to kill and through the help of his adopted father, a police sergeant, he learns to live by “The Code,” and becomes a serial killer who only kills murderers (with a few slip-ups along the way).

Dexter Morgan (Michael C. Hall) is a blood spatter analyst for Miami Metro, a prime spot for vices. He’s an expert at erasing his tracks and tracing killers that manage to elude the rest of the police force. In season one, he seems like a normal lab geek but through an intense voice-over, the audience gets a glimpse at the mind of a serial killer and (!) it’s not as crazy as it seems. Sure it’s dark, but you know his story and understand his reasoning. Suddenly, you find yourself hoping he catches the bastard (whatever serial killer it happens to be that season). And through it all, you realize that Dexter isn’t like all the killers he encounters. He has a moral compass and over time, his “acts” of humanity reveal themselves as more than just pretend. Of course, we realize that long before he does.

So, back to my crappy day… This series had a heart-breaking end that I hated but reluctantly understood. For the past two seasons, I’ve been wondering how it would end. Would all his secrets come to light? Would he be imprisoned or put to death? Would he be sought out by another serial killer and be murdered? Would he get away with it all and find solace in a new place far away from Miami?

In the episodes leading up to the series finale, Dexter had realized that his “Dark Passenger” was weaning, and that he no longer felt the urge to kill. All of the puzzle pieces were beginning to come together and it seemed as though Dexter Morgan would finally have it all.

enhanced-buzz-10993-1379913008-27Sadly, none of my hopes came to fruition. In the pivotal scene where Dexter decides to take Deborah, his beloved sister, off of life support, he realizes that he is responsible for the lives of the people that he loves. Although he can start a new life in Argentina with Hannah (his lover who also happens to be a convicted serial killer) and his son Harrison, he decides to change his identity and live the rest of his life in solitude so he can no longer hurt those who matter the most to him.

In layman terms: Dude becomes a lumberjack! It was horribly depressing but also relieving. Every situation was high-stakes and it seems that Dexter has finally found peace. But I’m still not convinced that this is the end. Will he never kill again? Will he really stay away from Hannah and Harrison? I feel like his story isn’t over and it’s unsettling and I am not satisfied.

This feeling will probably eat at me for a few more days before I can pick up the pieces left behind by the writers of Dexter. By this point you must be thinking, “Damn, girl. Let it go!” But that’s the thing about good shows, they draw you in, you become invested and when it’s time to go, you don’t want to say goodbye.

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So now I have to go through that awkward phase of finding a new favorite show. Of course, Dexter will always be in my heart but I need something new to look forward to each week.